What Was Daddy Like?
by CSIsnickers101
Summary: How could the answering of one simple question be so hard? Warning: contains sadness x


What Was Daddy Like?

N/A: right, this is another oneshot based on Snickers, but with a slight twist. Told from Sara's POV, enjoy!

Summary - Nick and Sara have had a little boy together. But sadly, Nick was shot and killed just months before his only son was born. Sara has tried to raise Aiden to the best of her abilities but 6 years on he is starting to get curious and ask questions about his daddy.

"Hey, how's my little man?" I asked my 6 year old son.

"Tired," Aiden sulked.

"Oh, so you don't want to come to work with me then?" I asked.

"No, no I want to go," he smiled.

"Good," I said as I walked over to his bed and started tickling him.

"No, mum! Stop! That tickles!" Aiden yelled.

"Honey, that's the point," I smiled.

"Can you stop tickling me now?" he shrieked.

"Fine," I sighed as I lay down next to him. "You gonna get up now?"

"Aha," he yawned.

"Come on slow couch," I said as I jumped off Aiden's bed and pulled him with me.

I ushered Aiden into the bathroom so he could brush his teeth. I dawdled down the stairs and towards the kitchen. I smiled as I walked past the living room and noticed a variety of Aiden's toys scattered on the floor.

"I don't even remember what this place was like before I had Aiden," I thought.

I continued into the kitchen and started to make dinner. Pancakes, Aiden's favourite. It was another trait he had inherited from his dad. I smiled, a sad smile, as I thought about Nick. It had been 6 years since his death but I still wanted to cry like I did the day he died. I guess you don't realise how much you love someone until they're not there. Aiden knew his dad was dead, I never wanted to keep that from him, let him get excited at the thought his dad was out there somewhere, or worse, I couldn't let Aiden grow up hating his dad 'cause he wasn't around. Aiden needed to know the truth.

Every year, on the day Nick died, Aiden, the team and myself headed down to place flowers on his grave. I would cry every year, so would Catherine and you could always see the tears burning in Warrick and Greg's eyes. Aiden never cried, he just didn't understand. But what I did want him to understand, maybe not as a kid, but he needed to know his dad loved him, even though he never met him.

I had to stop and rub my eyes so I didn't burst out into tears at that exact moment. I knew Nick loved Aiden, maybe it was mother's instinct. Nick was over the moon when we found out I was pregnant, so why wouldn't he love his only son?

I cleared my throat as I heard the floor boards above me start to creak and Aiden plod down the stairs.

"Hey baby. Do you want some pancakes?" I asked as I turned to face the doorway.

He just smiled, he knew that I knew the answer.

"2 or 3?" I asked as I started dishing up the warm pancakes.

"2 please," he replied as he sat down at the table.

"Okay," I said as I placed his plate in front of him. "Dig in."

I sat down opposite him at the table and started eating my plate of pancakes. We liked to mix things up a bit, breakfast for dinner and vice versa. Aiden loved it. He loved doing things a little differently to other families. But we were a very different family. Not everyone can say both their parents were CSIs and worked the graveyard shift, and sadly not everyone can say their dad died doing the job he loved. Aiden smiled at me from across the table, he knew I was thinking.

"Mum?" Aiden said taking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, sweetheart," I said as I awaited another question.

"Will I go get changed now?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll be right behind you," I nodded.

"Okay, bet you I'll be down first," he said as he shot up the stairs.

I smiled as I watched him disappear. I picked up our plates and placed them in the sink. I then started to walk back up the stairs and into my room. I didn't have many clothes so I was dressed quickly and I stood at the top of the stairs waiting for Aiden to immerge from his room.

"Thought you said you'd be done first?" I smiled as Aiden walked out.

He raced past me and was down the stairs in record speed.

"Careful," I yelled after him.

"Ha, I did beat you!" he smiled with pride as he reached the bottom step.

"Well done," I chuckled. "Now go get your shoes."

He sulked off to find his favourite trainers. "Mum, I can't find them."

"Have you checked the box room?" I asked.

"No," he said as he walked in and found his trainers laying in the middle of the room. "Found them."

"Good," I said as I put my own shoes on and then walked into the box room. I froze to the spot as I saw Aiden staring at a picture of our whole team, taken just weeks before Nick was killed. "What you doing?"

"Looking," he answered.

I sighed. He'd never even noticed that picture before, why now?

"Who's this?" he asked, pointing to Nick in the photo.

"Um," I gulped as I walked closer to Aiden. "That's your daddy."

"Oh," he said.

"Right then, come on. We're gonna be late at this rate," I said, trying to change the subject.

"Okay," he smiled as he started to walk towards the door.

"Good boy," I sighed in relief.

"Okay, so I'm ready when you are," I said as Aiden sat down on the sofa and started to put on his trainers.

"Ready," he jumped up off the sofa and ran for the door. "I'm gonna open it first."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes at his competitiveness, it reminded me of Nick.

I locked the door behind us and unlocked my SUV. Aiden climbed in the back as usual and strapped himself in. I smiled into the rear-view mirror at him as I sat down in the drivers seat.

"You buckled in?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Yeah," he smiled.

I nodded. "Right then off to the Las Vegas Crime Lab."

The drive was short but unusually quiet. Aiden was probably just tired, I decided.

"Mum?" Aiden spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Aha," I answered.

"What was daddy like?" he asked.

I gasped for air as my body filled with fear. "Did he just ask that?" I asked myself.

"Oh look, we're here," I said, avoiding his question that I was just not ready to answer.

"Yay," Aiden smiled.

I parked the car up and we headed inside. I was still in a bit of a daze after what Aiden had asked me as we walked through the double doors and I was angry at myself for not even attempting to answer my little boy's question.

"Hey guys," Catherine smiled as she saw Aiden and I walking towards the break room.

"Hello," Aiden waved back.

"Hey buddy," Warrick smiled as Aiden walked over to where he was standing and gave him a big hug. "I didn't know you where coming in tonight."

"Well here I am," Aiden grinned.

The whole team, including Grissom, loved Aiden. He was Nick's double so it was nice for all of us to still have a part of Nick with us. Aiden would always make us smile when we needed to. And even Grissom didn't mind him spending time at the lab. Grissom would never admit it but he missed Nick, like the rest of us did.

"Hey Aiden," Greg said as he walked in and saw him sat on the sofa drinking a carton of orange juice.

"Uncle Greg," Aiden smiled back. Greg loved being called that.

"Oh, hello Aiden," Grissom smiled as he entered the break room to hand out assignments. "Warrick and Greg, you're with me, decomp. And you two have a suspicious circs at the Tangiers."

"Cool," smiled Catherine as Grissom handed her our case slip.

"Let's go then," Greg announced as he and Warrick started to walk away. "See ya Aiden."

"Bye," Aiden waved as the disappeared out of sight.

"Well then little man, let's go find Hodges," I said as I took Aiden by the hand and guided him to the trace lab.

"Say bye to your mum," Hodges smiled.

"Bye mum," Aiden said. He wasn't really paying much attention, he was fascinated by all the high tech machines Hodges had in his lab.

"Have fun sweetheart," I said as I walked away with Catherine just behind me.

Once we arrived at our crime scene it became apparent foul play was definitely involved. But that was about it as far as my concentration went. I just could not shake the sound of Aiden's voice, and him asking me about his dad. I felt physically sick as I thought about how selfish I had been. I had told Aiden stories about Nick when he was a baby but be didn't remember. Aiden was older now, he wanted to know about who his dad was and I just couldn't bring myself to answer him.

A few hours later and Catherine and I were back in the lab break room, swigging coffee. Our case was going no where and it was pissing Catherine off but I guess I didn't really care, I had to much on my mind.

"Are you okay Sara?" she asked as we sat down around the break room table.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I lied.

"I don't know, but you seem to be a bit spaced out today," Catherine explained.

"I'm fine," I insisted.

"You can tell me Sara," Catherine pushed me for an answer she would actually believe.

"It's nothing really, just something Aiden asked me," I started.

"What did he ask?"

"To use his exact words: what was daddy like," I sighed.

"Oh," Catherine bit her lip.

"Yep, and I couldn't answer him, well maybe I could but I chose not to," I said.

"Sara," Catherine raised her eyebrows at me.

"I know, it was so incredibly selfish of me but I just couldn't," I tried to explain.

"You can't tell me you don't look into his eyes and see Nick staring back at you," Catherine stated, her voice slightly raised. "He needs to know about his dad."

"Why do you think I couldn't say anything, or why he doesn't have his dads name, first or last?" I asked, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

"I get it Sara, I really do. I struggle to answer Lindsey's questions about Eddie but I guess she met her dad. I know how hard it is for you as a single mum but you can't lie to him," Catherine protested.

"I'm not meaning to lie to him, but I just can't start talking about Nick, I'll start crying and I might not ever stop," I sniffled.

Catherine sat and thought about what to say next.

"You know why I couldn't name Aiden after Nick?" I asked.

Catherine shook her head.

"'Cause I didn't want to yell Nick and know that it wouldn't actually be him answering me. Stupid huh?" I sniffled again as I tried to fight away the tears that I knew where coming.

"No, Sara it's not stupid," Catherine argued.

"Selfish then. And to top it off, I go and give him his dad's name as his middle name and then give him my surname. Aiden Nicholas Sidle. Why couldn't I bring myself to name him Stokes? Surely Nick dissevered that?" I asked rhetorically.

"Maybe Nick did dissever that but what's done is done Sara, don't beat yourself up about it," Catherine said.

"But I am, and I can't help it," I said as a single tear fell down my cheek. "All Nick ever really wanted was his own child and I was lucky enough to be able to give him that, but he can't even be here to watch his son grow up."

"That's not your fault though, you didn't shoot him," Catherine pointed out.

"I know but I can still feel guilty, can't I?" I asked.

"I guess, but you shouldn't," she stated.

"Yeah, I know but I do and I can't help it anymore. I loved Nick so much, still do and I actually don't think I ever told him," I sighed.

"I'm sure you did. And even if you didn't Nick knew how you felt, and he felt the same. And now Aiden's around we all love him 'cause he's just like his dad," she stated.

"Aiden is Nick's double, without a doubt," I smiled through my tears. "So doesn't Aiden disserve to know about his dad?"

"Yeah, he does," Catherine sniffled and smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"You do realise you are kinda having and argument with yourself?" she smiled.

"Yeah," I nodded and started to laugh. "Who's winning?"

"You," she laughed.

"Thank you," I said as I stood up and walked round the table to where Catherine was and gave her a huge hug.

"I didn't really do much," she smiled.

"You helped me realise what I have to do," I said I pulled out of our hug and started wiping away my tears. "Right, where's Aiden?"

"I think he's still with Hodges," Catherine answered.

I smiled at her as I left the room, still rubbing my eyes. I walked through multiple labs and ignored multiple people as I searched for my 6 year old.

"There you are," I smiled as I found Aiden lingering around Grissom's office. "What are you doing?"

"Sssh," he whispered over his shoulder. He was being a spy for Greg who wanted gossip on what Grissom had called Hodges into his office for.

"Tough," I whispered back and I started to tickle Aiden's very sensitive tummy.

"No, mum! Not again!" Aiden screamed as I lifted him up and span him round. "Put me down!"

"On one condition, you'll forgive me?" I asked.

"What for?" Aiden asked as I slowly placed him back on the ground.

"For not answering your question about your dad. I really am sorry honey," I smiled as I crouched down to him and he hugged me.

"It's okay," he whispered.

"Good. Now, ask me the question again," I said as I stood up and took his hand.

"Okay. What was daddy like?" he asked again.

"Well Aiden," I started as we began to walk down the corridor. "He was a lot like you."

Thank you for reading. I know it was a bit of a slow start but I hope you liked it anyway. Review please.


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